ONWARDS IN HOPE AND STRENGTH
The hope we have set out to bring, is to encourage us all locally to confidently support each other in casual meeting over a cuppa with love, patience, compassion and time.
In time we can expect to fan out from initial small friendship or family chats to meet at other venues/with other groups. You are not on your own.
When we move on in our grief, it is natural and what our loved ones would have wanted for us. They shared their love with us as we did with them, to enable us all to have love and life.
That doesn't stop with death, but continues despite it. We do our loved ones no injustice by beginning to enjoy life again, but we embrace their hopes for us and fulfil them.
We remember that we were born to love and be loved and that once love is known, it is never ending. We can love again those around us and for some, in new relationships. We can love a blessed new child - never a replacement that is impossible - but an extension of ourselves in another life with a love born new and fresh each time. None of this detracts from the love we shared with those dearest loves we no longer can have in person. Love does not divide; or lessen; but it multiplies each time. Each relationship is sacred and special in its own right.
If we have no other children, nor a different love in our life, let's not compare ourselves to others. We are who we are. Each person, each relationship, each way of coping is individual. There are no rules above just loving each other in times of need and joy and knowing that we are making a new, a parallel and eternal bond each time. Value our friendships and our family time. overcome new hurdles with them. Life will be different but can still know the beauty of precious relationships.
We hope our family and friends embrace this human and spiritual truth about us too.
Remember this too - that you, as a bereaved person, are helping your supporting friends/family by letting them share their time and encouragement with you so you can have new life - not better but new. You in your weakness are bringing them a new avenue of life; a new strength to draw on in life: A new togetherness.
You as friends or family have a duty to know you cannot supply everything to your bereaved loved one. This is a shared process. So your aim is to help your loved one to grow into the next stage of life by finding more friends and new activities or resuming past activities if they still enjoy them. Whatever brings them life and hope.
There may in some circumstances, be a prolonged period of grief. They say we can usually expect to go through a grieving process for up to 2 years. Over 2 years, professionals deem to be a long time without progression and we may wish to point our friend/family towards established counseling/wellbeing services if more support is needed. No friend or family member can supply professional support if deemed necessary.
As friends we are encouraged to practice as ‘invisible’ facilitators toward developing self support among those friends or family who are experiencing grief and to know when there is need to involve other professionals. So a guide for leaders needs to be put in place. Seek help to source out with advice follow up facilitators.
YOur local NHS sites or surgery should be able to help I am sure.
What lasts though through all this is the experience you have shared together through grief shared It brings us closer together and enables us all to find new life and hope in a way we never imagined before.
May your blessings be many in your future.,and your memories form your strength because of your past.
Do not fear the quietness. It may seem empty at first, but quietness is not empty if you give it chance to grow with you.
Marc Hamer said about quiet times in his book 'Life in Nature or How to Catch a MOle' :
'In quiet moments like this, there is a sense of completeness: nothing else is needed to make them whole and perfect...I go quiet inside.; the silence seems to pour out, filling any cracks in the perfection. Once you experience this feeling of simply existing you lose the need to ask why you exist.' (copywright @ Marc Hamer 2019)